I'm sorry I have been out of touch. To say that life has changed around here is not even close!! I LOVE having my kids home but lord! the changes that come with it. We've all dealt with those changes in the best way we could or actually more in the only way we knew to do so. We have had 'discussions' that went no where and been left feeling even more lost than before. You know that feeling? The things that so need to be said, but you wonder when is the RIGHT time to do so? You can't seem to find it, so the words come out at the least opportune moments.
That time came for me when I felt crappier than I'd ever thought I could feel. At first I felt just over emotional, crying about even the simplest of things. Then it was a total lack of energy...I didn't want to do anything. Then I got vertigo...that dizzy feeling when you move anything; even your eyes. That moved into an upset tummy, which made me go off my medicine, which brought about all those symptoms the medicine took care of. Then of course, I didn't feel like eating or drinking. I laid around, doing little more than sleep and ache. A horrendous feeling when you've gone thru all I have in the past few years. A strong woman feeling totally lost and hating it. This went on for about 5 days til I finally asked to be taken to the ER. God bless my kids who didn't hesitate and took me right away and best yet, stayed by my side through the entire thing. How much love you can feel when you have such support!
The hospital took my symptoms seriously (yes, really!) and did a CT scan and blood work which amazingly were all ok. I was given an IV with saline and valium and let go home with a scrip for more valium. Yes, vertigo is helped by Valium!! The diagnosis was Benign motivational vertigo and severe dehydration. A simple way to put a horrible feeling.
It all started on Friday, April 3rd and my ER visit was last Wednesday, the 8th and I'm just today starting to feel a little better. I'm basically having to start eating in a whole different way...jello, clear foods and liquids and occasionally putting in more normal foods as I go along. Today is the first day my tummy can barely handle even a cuppa coffee! I'm slowly incorporating my medicines back into my diet and taking it EXTREMELY easy.
The best things I learned with all of this is the family I wished for has always been here! I've learned to deal with the stress in my life I thought I was dealing with so well. Even more so, I found I don't have to deal with all that on my own. I've learned my sons and daughter are more capable of handling my health issues than I thought, and no matter if they speak up or not, they WORRY about me.
I always brag to others to speak up when you want help, and yet I didn't. I tell everyone you cannot ASSUME people will know what you need to be done, or that you're lonely or sad or miserable, if you don't open your mouth and tell them so. I've raised my boys to speak up for themselves and here I was, unable to do the same thing.
I've learned my kids LOVE me, worry about me every day, and want to HELP!!! They are all different than they were 3 years ago and even though my youngest son lives with me, I wasn't aware of how much even he had changed! We adults are not the only ones who wear a 'happy mask'.
I've also learned to be VERY aware of the words I speak and HOW I speak them...how a seemingly innocent remark in my mind, can be taken so harshly and hurtfully when you put those thoughts into words to those you love more than life itself.
So, the lessons I've learned most of all are these...ALWAYS tell those you love how you feel; not just the nice stuff and not in a way they think everything's truly okay...they WANT to know it all! Let them know what you need or want help with. Get on their butts when you're frustrated with their behaviour. DON'T let things slide when you know you ought to be doing more for them, because it won't help yourself to keep quiet and your loved ones will continue to slide downhill if they aren't aware of how you feel! Your kids and your loved ones DO want you to be tough with them, NEED to know in fact. A lesson to be learned by the loved ones in your life is this....Don't wait to be asked to help; just help!! Reach out that hand...it will be grasped!!
The final lesson I learned is this...we are NEVER too old to learn, to change, to grow. We can always become better people and if we are truly loved by those we believe love us, they will still be there for us every day, in every moment, whether we are weak or strong. After all, somewhere, somehow, we are a hero to someone else, but most of all, we must be a hero to ourselves first.
It's been a while since I've been here but this time for all the right reasons! My disability payments started in October and in January I got my back disability payment. With it, I was able to go out and get things to enable me to do the things I want to at home. Because of the fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue and pain syndromes, I tend to spend a lot of time at home. So, I draw and write, think of ways to organize our home and slowly actually do these things!
One of the best things I was finally able to do was to go out and buy a car! We've had to go without one for almost 5 years, having to ask for rides no matter where we had to go and depend on everyone for almost every aspect of our lives. Now we can be almost independant and it feels so good!
Another thing to bless our world is my oldest son has moved home to Oklahoma after an absence of 2 and 1/2 years. It's been a little crazy getting used to a full house again, but I'd rather have my son here than not.
I guess I'm saying if you think positively, keep positive thoughts ever running in your mind, and push out the negativity from your mind and lives, things will work out! You've got to take every positive thing that happens in your world, no matter how small, as a step forward!
I see blogs on here blaming the government, the illnesses people have, the families you have and even pot shots at people who are in the same situation....putting the reason why you haven't gotten help on everyone and everything but who is truly the reason.
You've got to do everything you can, call and write everyone you can, ASK for help from places that may not seem the 'right' place to go and always have faith things will work out. I'm not saying this venture will be an easy one...you will have to be humble and accept the help that IS out there. You can't simply put ONE letter up on one site and leave it at that. Push for your life...don't let things bring you down for long...think of your families and how your actions affect them and how positive they will feel about their lives.
I've had problems since I was a child, gone thru things no one should go thru, and this last life venture has gone on since 1997. I lapsed into self loathing, self hatred, and blame on the world. One day I realized I had to look deep inside and see what really was at the core of my problems...and found it was ME. The common denominator was ME! If I wanted my life to change, I was the one who had to make the effort to change...I could only use my past experiences for so long as excuses. I'm not saying my life changed overnite, but it did change!
I started doing for me!! Your children, your husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend, your friends can only stand by you and support you. IF you're not happy or content with who you are, how can they be? I have had to take the illnesses thrust upon me as a good thing...they taught me to relax, quit pushing so hard on myself, and never give up. Those diseases taught me how to live life at a less than perfect level and take the steps back and make them into baby steps forward...ever forward.
So, is my life perfect? Hell no! Am I rich in financial ways? No. Do I have love in my life? Lord yes. I am rich in ways that truly matter and you too can be that way too. Never give up...every experience we go thru in life has positive lessons to be learned. Sometimes we have to look extremely hard for them, but they are there!! So, in closing I can only say this. Positive thinking DOES work. Pushing the negative out of your life WILL change your world...even if those people are friends or family. You have to do for YOU!! Just KEEP the FAITH and blessings will be put upon you.
I'm a single mother of 2 boys, ages 14 and 23. My youngest lives with me, while my oldest lives in another state. I was re-diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis...December 2006. Originally diagnosed in 1997, I worked thru the many problems this disease afforded me, w/o insurance or a doctor per se...until an enjoyable yet extremely physically hard job brought about, little by little, regularly occuring symptoms of MS. I quit that job after over 2 years in hopes that I might be able to go back to work after a short break. I did do so, working in the mental health field. Again, loving the work and the people, but early rising and walking to and from work, brought on more health issues and after my brother passed away soon after beginning this job, I decided something was bound to give and I didn't want it to be me. I applied for SSI and disability, started back with medical help, and went on medication for my symptoms.
As of August of 2008, I was finally approved for disability and my payments will begin soon. I was asked to have a payee and am lucky enough to have a good friend who agreed to take on that responsibility. You do find out who your true friends are at the most opportune moments! I know many changes will happen in my life...some of them frustrating and confusing..but mostly for the good. I actually think I will be better off than I have ever been in my life! Besides that, changes are something I've become ALL too accustomed to.
The one thing that keeps changing though, is my diagnosis~Doctors simply cannot decide what exactly it is that I have! I understand because my symptoms can point to many things, so for now, I guess I will have to go along with the ones Social Security has given me....Fibromyalgia, Severe Depression, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Chronic Pain Syndrome. I guess it really doesn't matter what name it has....The symptoms exist every day !
I try very hard to keep a smile on my face, remain as positive as I can for my sons. Neither of them complain and somehow still manage to worry about ME!! My youngest still rarely asks for anything and if he wants something, he saves the money he gets for birthdays, etc for it. He recently got his disability payment and what did he buy? A few video games and movies. He doesn't think it's any big deal to let me use a bit of his $$ to get things needed around home or to pay for a few bills until my own payments begin! He helps around the home...not w/o complaints mind you..he STILL is a teen!...but he generally is so good natured and happy, I cannot believe my luck as far as sons are concerned. His older brother is exactly the same...both being glad they were raised by me and in a non material world. Do you know how much I wish I could have raised them WITH those little things? But I'm glad they know unconditional love, if not anything else.
My oldest calls all the time wondering how I am, despite any troubles he may have. He even wants to go into physical therapy so he can take care of me!! So, I am so thankful I can give him something he so deserves...a trip home for Christmas!! He says he doesn't want me to do it, cause I need the money so much but little does he understand how much of a gift it will be for ME and his brother!
Many of the things I've written of earlier are still the same...I don't work outside the home, I still haven't taken up photography, I don't have a car and my assistance still consists of housing and food stamps. I know I will have higher bills after my disability pmt's come in, and more than likely my food stamps will be cut. BUT I do believe I will almost like having to take care of most of these things without the additional help. It will be the first time in a very long time I feel almost 'normal'!
Don't get me wrong...life is and will be frustrating still. Having additional funds coming in will not change my health or the new and old symptoms that come along with it. Tears will still flow freely from time to time. I will still feel 'stranded', alone, and frustrated from time to time. Yet, I still must keep positive thoughts going thru my mind and in my life. If I do so, positive things cannot help coming into my world and the prayers I hold for others will have that much more of a positive outcome.
So, if you need an ear, someone to talk to, or even just a place to gripe and get those feelings out....please don't hesitate to write. It may take me a minute but I will do my best to help out in whatever way I can.
Posted in just2sweet318 on Jun 26, 2007... modified on Nov 14, 2008
I'm a single mother of 2 boys, ages 14 and 23. My youngest lives with me, while my oldest lives in another state. I was re-diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis...December 2006. Originally diagnosed in 1997, I worked thru the many problems this disease afforded me, w/o insurance or a doctor per se...until an enjoyable yet extremely physically hard job brought about, little by little, regularly occuring symptoms of MS. I quit that job after over 2 years in hopes that I might be able to go back to work after a short break. I did do so, working in the mental health field. Again, loving the work and the people, but early rising and walking to and from work, brought on more health issues and after my brother passed away soon after beginning this job, I decided something was bound to give and I didn't want it to be me. I applied for SSI and disability, started back with medical help, and went on medication for my symptoms.
As of August of 2008, I was finally approved for disability and my payments will begin soon. I was asked to have a payee and am lucky enough to have a good friend who agreed to take on that responsibility. You do find out who your true friends are at the most opportune moments! I know many changes will happen in my life...some of them frustrating and confusing..but mostly for the good. I actually think I will be better off than I have ever been in my life! Besides that, changes are something I've become ALL too accustomed to.
The one thing that keeps changing though, is my diagnosis~Doctors simply cannot decide what exactly it is that I have! I understand because my symptoms can point to many things, so for now, I guess I will have to go along with the ones Social Security has given me....Fibromyalgia, Severe Depression, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Chronic Pain Syndrome. I guess it really doesn't matter what name it has....The symptoms exist every day !
I try very hard to keep a smile on my face, remain as positive as I can for my sons. Neither of them complain and somehow still manage to worry about ME!! My youngest still rarely asks for anything and if he wants something, he saves the money he gets for birthdays, etc for it. He recently got his disability payment and what did he buy? A few video games and movies. He doesn't think it's any big deal to let me use a bit of his $$ to get things needed around home or to pay for a few bills until my own payments begin! He helps around the home...not w/o complaints mind you..he STILL is a teen!...but he generally is so good natured and happy, I cannot believe my luck as far as sons are concerned. His older brother is exactly the same...both being glad they were raised by me and in a non material world. Do you know how much I wish I could have raised them WITH those little things? But I'm glad they know unconditional love, if not anything else.
My oldest calls all the time wondering how I am, despite any troubles he may have. He even wants to go into physical therapy so he can take care of me!! So, I am so thankful I can give him something he so deserves...a trip home for Christmas!! He says he doesn't want me to do it, cause I need the money so much but little does he understand how much of a gift it will be for ME and his brother!
Many of the things I've written of earlier are still the same...I don't work outside the home, I still haven't taken up photography, I don't have a car and my assistance still consists of housing and food stamps. I know I will have higher bills after my disability pmt's come in, and more than likely my food stamps will be cut. BUT I do believe I will almost like having to take care of most of these things without the additional help. It will be the first time in a very long time I feel almost 'normal'!
Don't get me wrong...life is and will be frustrating still. Having additional funds coming in will not change my health or the new and old symptoms that come along with it. Tears will still flow freely from time to time. I will still feel 'stranded', alone, and frustrated from time to time. Yet, I still must keep positive thoughts going thru my mind and in my life. If I do so, positive things cannot help coming into my world and the prayers I hold for others will have that much more of a positive outcome.
So, if you need an ear, someone to talk to, or even just a place to gripe and get those feelings out....please don't hesitate to write. It may take me a minute but I will do my best to help out in whatever way I can.
Hi there all! Well, seems it's been awhile since I've been here, and that's a shame. I ask for help then didn't really come back to the site. I should have because even though I can't help out financially, a word of cheer can always help! I know, 'cause it's those words of cheer that get me through every day. These days, I get a bit of cheer from other outlets...a new man in my life. I have to consider myself lucky because it's hard enough finding a love being physically and mentally able, let alone to have MS and manage to find a wonderful man who's willing to stick around. Financially, my life's improved, although he and I are almostt in the same boat credit-wise. Still a more patient, loving man I couldn't find. I'm going to hang onto this one, I can tell you that~~! Anyhow, for every one out there, physically challenged or not, never give up on anything, especially love cause you truly never know what will happen from one day to the next! So, take care and always feel free to comment or just say hi.
Well, different year, same story...except my oldest is now 22 and my youngest will be 14 on Dec 17th. I still haven't been approved for Disability although I'm on the next judges' docket, I still have limited income, still behind on my bills and yet my youngest STILL doesn't complain or ask for much. So I want to make his birthday and Christmas as delightful as possible and will accept any help any one can give.
This is my wonderful 13 year old son who asks for so little, helps me around the house and never complains (seriously!). I have MS and cannot get out and about a whole lot, don't have a car, am tired all the time and we have very little extra $$ each month if any. Yet he goes on, silly and intelligent, and all I want to do is help him have a happy birthday (December 17th) and as merry a Christmas as possible. Can anyone help?
To the attention of: Barack Obama, US President; Pat Quinn, Governor of Illinois; US Senators from Illinois: Mark Kirk, Richard J. Durbin; US Representatives from Illinois: Aaron Schock, Bill Fost... see full post
God Bless all of you who are helping and to all of those who need help. I am in no position to help anyone right now but I will pray for all of us.
God Bless... see full post
When I was 3, I was literally killed in a car accident right outside my front door. Over 2 minuets passed before the paramedics brought me back. I don't remember anything from that time, other than th... see full post
I am a mother of three wonderful children and I am getting by with making ends meet, but this year like the last hasn't been a Christmas at all. I didn't have any money to get a tree or gifts and I wa... see full post
Too often as adults we become too prideful. I was most guilty of this. I needed to go through life's trials to get to where I am at in my life. Our children are most precious gifts from God and as... see full post
Anything is possible if you beleive in God if He can move a mountain He can do anything. I thank everyone for all the support may God bless everyone in Jesus name. Amen.... see full post
Hi, if you have the means, please all me raise $800 to pay my rent before I get evicted from y apt...
I have been out of work since June of this year, 2011. I have been all my mony from savings and d... see full post
LET ME REPHRASE MY WORDS:A FEW SECONDS AGO I SAID I JUST ABOUT GIVEN UP,WELL I DID GIVE UP CAUSE ITS REALLY,REALLY SAD THAT THERE ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE WITH THE MEANS TO HELP A FAMILY OR FAMILIES,BUT T... see full post
WELL!!!I JUST ABOUT GIVEN UP!!!I HAVE PRAYED,BEGGED,CRYED,& WENT TO EVERY ORGANIZATION POSSIBLE TO NO AVAIL.DUE TO NO HELP AROUND HERE THE EVICTION PROCESS STARTED TODAY SO IN A MATTER A DAYS,MYSE... see full post
I have wasted many years in prison and have made many mistakes in my life, I went back to school and recently received my high school diploma on June 21, 2011 with honors. I was awarded the National A... see full post
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Well I am writing again for help this community has failed my family our water was turned off Wednesday and the power is being shut off Monday. I have contacted the places that were suggested and put ... see full post
"PO FOLKS"
One day a father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the firm purpose of showing his son how poor people can be.
They spent a couple of da... see full post
Some of us may have loved ones to share this day with, some of us may be all alone, and some of us may not celibrate holidays at all. Well as a friend and Familia, I wanted to tell everyone on Aidpage... see full post
All of us have problems and they tend to overwhelm us. If you come to know anyone deeply enough you discover that he has problems. Usually,too, he feels that his problems are the worst of ... see full post
